So much so, that I asked moms to set me up with their sons if they thought we would get along. Why? Because I knew they understood and wanted the best for me after watching me grow up on the show for 12 years.

Every time I would meet a mom who watched the show, I instantly felt a bright burst of gratitude and an immediate loving connection (and still do!).

A year ago, the loveliest viewer named Anne, along with her daughter, Rebecca, whom I now consider to be cherished friends, told producers I needed to go on a date with her son, Robert.

Robert and I remained friends, and he was visiting from Virginia this weekend to run the Brooklyn Half. We got coffee today in Madison Square Park, among the birdsong and soft jazz, and I asked him some questions I wanted to share with you!

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It takes someone extremely secure and confident to be able to come on the show and go on a date. What was that experience like for you behind the scenes?

Young co-workers were like did you meet The Giggly Squad? Cause they were on that day, I don’t know their names.

Paige DeSorbo and Hannah Berner.

Yes, and I was like, yeah, I did! The second day, after we went on our date and I had proven myself that I wasn’t a complete jerk—

—Everyone loved [you], by the way, you were the most beloved person—

Besides my mom.

We love Anne.

The second day I did become the D-list celebrity.

Was there anything that you and your mom were surprised by with the behind-the-scenes of The TODAY Show?

So I was probably not as surprised as my mom because I kind of get it, but the smallness [of it]—whether it’s the set or how everything just goes on in the same little area. You may have this idea of glitz and glamour and obviously there is some of that, but it’s also just a workplace with offices where you just run into a closet and get hair and makeup done.

It’s funny because I remember the first time Regis came to the show to co-host with Kathie Lee, he walked into Studio 1A, the top floor and he goes, what is this? A closet? And it’s so true cause it is smaller than you think it would be.

Yeah. And you’re like, oh, the weather’s done over there, and then you just flip around and there’s the next segment.

You are here in New York because you just ran a half marathon. When we met, you were about to run a full marathon and that was your first marathon that you ran (a year ago). Do you have any tips for people who maybe are afraid to try something new? Was there anything that gave you the self-encouragement to go for it?

I don’t know if there’s anything to the self-encouragement side other than just do it. Once you find something that you enjoy doing, it just becomes second nature. Just do it. Just jump in head first. If it doesn’t work out, find something else. Hobbies are easier than jobs. Either way, just jump in, as long as you have a little bit of a nest.

What do you tell yourself in the midst of uncertainty?

Certainty is there, you just gotta find it. At some point you’ll find what’s certain in the midst of uncertainty, so whatever that means to you. Life may be uncertain, but you will find certainty throughout.

You never know when a great connection will come your way or where lasting friendships can come from.

Just some food for thought as you head into the rest of this beautiful night…

PS- I can’t wait for my morning coffee.

x Donna

She told me she ordered a white tie for me, and I quickly told her I didn’t know how to tie a tie (BTW—is that something I need to learn?). She laughed- it was a clip on, and it’s “very in style right now.” I excitedly nodded like I was ready to take on an advanced fashion mission.

My mom and I have always been close, and we’ve always shared a love for fashion (one I believe I inherited from her). This weekend we went to see The Devil Wears Prada 2 together and, lo and behold— we spotted ties galore in the film—on Anne Hathaway, Emily Blunt and Simone Ashley’s characters!

As I nudged her in validating her trend foresight, she whispered to me, “I have some more outfits in my closet I want you to try on.”

It reminded me of how fun it is to be inspired by others’ fashion, how style can bring us up when we feel down, and how playfulness enhances our self-confidence in our individuality.

This Mother’s Day, I asked my mama a couple of questions I wanted to share with you.

On Fashion:

You grew up in Iran and you wore a school uniform. Your mom made a lot of your dresses.

My uniforms.

Oh, your mom made your uniforms, too?

I wanted my uniform to be a little different. We had different colors for elementary school, middle school, high school. I remember I asked my mom when I was in high school, can you knit me a tunic for my uniform, same color? And she made me a handmade knit long tunic with a belt. And I remember exactly it was dark blue, the shirt underneath was more of a peach color, and it looked really good!

Where do you feel like you got your fashion inspiration from?

I enjoy fashion. I appreciate it so much. Like yesterday we saw The Devil Wears Prada 2. I enjoyed every second… And may I say that the tie was “in” last year in Europe? I’m sure the movie was shot last year. So it was a one-and-a-half-year old fashion trend. I shop from my closet a lot because I keep my classic pieces from 25 years ago.

How did you know what to keep?

I saw a lot of me in you as you were growing up, so I knew that you’re gonna like [my clothes] at some point because I loved it. Classic always lasts you a longer time. [When I’m shopping] I usually have that look that I want in my mind and go shop for it. I have a vision and I go for it.

On Motherhood:

It is Mother’s Day weekend, so I want to know… you have always known that you wanted to be a mom. How has being a mom matched those expectations that you had?

I was never, ever a confident mom to tell you the truth, I questioned myself. I felt a tremendous amount of responsibility because raising a child is not just feeding them, sending them to school. It’s just accepting every little individual as they are and letting them grow, giving them freedom to grow. Don’t think you’re always right. I have learned so much from you and Sara. Don’t have pride when you’re a mom. We all learn from each other. Pay attention to their soul. They’re born with different personalities. There are a lot of books about child-rearing. I’ve read quite a bit, but the thing is, go with your own intuition and go with the relationship you have with your child. And trust them, especially as they’re grown up. Trust their judgments and their decisions. All these worries come along with motherhood, as much as joy. But you have to give them some room to decide and spread their wings and let them fly. Just be happy for them.

On Uncertainty:

What do you tell yourself in the midst of uncertainty?

Uncertainty makes life interesting. I consider life to be like an ocean, you know how waves come, high and low. Life is always full of uncertainty and full of ups and downs. The key to survive difficulties, I think, is how to be able to surf those waves because it’s not gonna be a smooth ride ever for anyone. You’ve got to learn how to ride the waves and deal with ups and downs and don’t ever get a big head when you’re up. We’re all just tiny parcels of this world, so what’s the point of getting a big head? And you have to have feelings for others… Empathy, empathy, empathy.

Just some food for thought as you head into the rest of this beautiful day…

x Donna

We met at Bad Roman, a restaurant that’s on the third floor of The Shops at Columbus Circle. I find restaurants in malls to be very reminiscent of suburban life, and they’re not always where I want to flock to in a city, but as soon as I stepped inside, the ambience and vibe completely charmed me. It felt a little like a restaurant in a Vegas mall—over-the-top and ready to satiate.

I had a delicious pepperoncini martini (actually, two), Dan had white wine, and we split all the decadence we had seen advertised on Instagram. Pepperoni cups that you dunk in ranch (honestly a bit much and made me feel gross afterward but it was the #1 food item I had seen all over my social and wanted to try), caesar salad, ricotta toast (my favorite), and a filet of steak with a cacio e pepe ravioli on top (also a bit much but it was the item Dan had seen all over his social and wanted to try).

Again, decadent, but you only live once! And I can’t imagine myself going there again anytime soon (not because it wasn’t great, but because I love to try new places).

I asked him three questions I wanted to share with you.

On Career:

What was your first big break and what lesson did you learn from that, that you continue to implement throughout your career?

My first big break was moving to New York City on an internship. I never would have thought I would have moved to New York City and that was my big break because otherwise I probably would have been a producer in local news. I never would have thought I would be in New York. My lesson from that experience was always be open. When you have an opportunity, seize the opportunity. I never dreamed about moving to New York and the opportunity came, and here we are at this fabulous dinner!

On Love:

I will be officiating your wedding (my fourth one)! How did you know Allen was the one? Was there one moment where you felt Allen was your soulmate?

The first day I met Allen—I kind of knew. It was weird; he came up to me at a bar and introduced himself and looked me in the eye with intensity, and I didn’t know at the time that we’d be getting married, but I knew there was something with him. There was a magnetic pull—just his energy. He has contagious, upbeat, positive energy. When we’re together I’m more of the realist and he’s the dreamer.

On Uncertainty:

What do you tell yourself when you are in the midst of uncertainty?

After the panic sets in, just take one step at a time and breathe. One day at a time, one task at a time, break it down really simply. Don’t think about the big picture, don’t worry about tomorrow, worry about now, worry about the moment and what are you going to do today and now to get to your goal?

You guessed it— we ended the decadent meal by sharing one last thing—cheesecake in the shape of a lemon.

We used to travel the world and tell stories, and this week we traveled to a restaurant in between our neighborhoods and told stories about each other that I wanted to share with you. Just some food for thought as you head into the rest of this beautiful day…

x Donna

Those were the first three words I remember ever spoken to me by a peer in school.

She pointed to my forehead as she asked me, which made me reach for it and rub it to make sure nothing was jutting out.

I knew what she was referring to, though. There was a mark on my forehead- I only knew to call it a “dot,” but I’d refer to it now as a beauty mark. It did resemble a bindi, I guess, a symbolic dot typically worn on the center of the forehead by Hindu women.

“No,” I smiled while other girls gathered around me as if I were an exhibit to experience. It was kindergarten, and most of the kids already knew each other from pre-k. I was a newcomer, clearly in more ways than one. I felt embarrassed, different, and highly self-conscious.

If you’re wondering what feeling “othered” means, that moment is how I’d describe it.

Note to the reader as you think about this piece: I felt othered because of the background I had in the environment I grew up in, but maybe it’s something else for you. Being a woman in a man’s world? Feeling unable to express your sexuality?

Back to my story: I proceeded to become friends with that girl, and looking back, I wonder if I was subconsciously motivated to be perceived by her as “normal,” validated, and liked.

I’d go on through school with the subconscious understanding that I was “different” from the other students because of my background. My parents were born and raised in Iran, and emigrated to the States before the 1979 Revolution. Iran is a country filled with many ethnicities; I am Persian and Azeri –my dad is from the nation’s capital, Tehran, where they speak Farsi and my mom is from Tabriz– her first language is a dialect of Turkish. I’d go home and be able to understand two different languages that weren’t taught in schools and I’d transfer that joy for celebrating other cultures by excelling in subjects that were taught in schools, like Spanish and history.

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Teachers would place me in cultural groups I didn’t sign up to be a part of and guys would instant message me on AIM (remember AOL Instant Messenger?) asking, “what are you?” referring to my ethnically ambiguous background.

I’d then go on to college, escaping the prep school scene to a city environment more embracing of diversity of thought, background and perspective. I realized my evolution in how I wanted to live and be received in this world, and the multiple layers of myself that were repressed due to feeling othered at a young age.

I learned that being diverse is HOT (lol, truly!) and that I’d prefer to stand out in a social situation than be grouped as one of many. Yes, I joined a sorority, but I was surrounded by girls from different hometowns, backgrounds, and perspectives. I recognized that following my intuition, although it was against the grain of what I was advised to do in high school, expanded my understanding of myself and therefore my worldview. I had internships in politics, ad/sales, and news, which gave me an influx of new experiences that tested my comfort and strengthened my boldness. One of the news reporters I shadowed during an internship, who was a fellow first-generation American, remarked that my empathy and kindness were likely a result of that. I was always considered “nice” in school, but I had never understood that culture could be a cause of that. When I chose to study abroad for the full year in Spain, I lived with homestay families that knew of the Persian culture (and empire, for that matter), more than the teachers I grew up learning from and the students I grew up learning with.

It’s interesting to think the decisions you make for yourself in life may just be planted there for you to better understand who you are and how you can bloom.

Everything I learned in college set me up to enter my dream world: television and broadcast news. It’s there, where I was plunked back into the realities of otherness and had a full-circle moment that resembled my welcome to the world of school. An agent looked at my demo reel and told me I’d have a bright future with my talent as long as I removed the beauty mark on my forehead. At work I’d be pulled into offices, asked what my background was, and if I could be counted towards the diversity quota.

These moments made me realize I can’t change how I’m perceived. Politics and culture dictate how open-minded people are when they “other” you. I can’t depend on anyone’s validation of me. I can only strengthen how I feel about myself.

I’ve always felt privileged to be a first-generation American–I thought of it as the best of both worlds, but I discovered an interesting distinction between those who grow up as first-generation Americans and those who immigrate here as adults. The former group is often seen as the “odd one out” through adolescence, which can lead to insecurity and feeling othered at an impressionable age. On the other hand, the latter group already developed security in themselves growing up in their native culture, making them more invincible to that overshadowing feeling “otherness” can bring. Immigrants speak multiple languages, navigate multiple cultures and are on the receiving end of multiple perceptions.

But a feeling of “otherness,” I believe, primarily lives in their children—the first-generation Americans who grew up with a dual upbringing—the native and the inherited. The sweetness I have gained from that is something I’d never trade for the world, but the work I put into building my self-confidence was doubled because of it.

Although feeling othered can evoke negative emotions, I believe it actually brings positive change to the world, because it’s a connective feeling that enhances empathy and compassion in every situation, creating an abundance in life.

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I went on a walk with my dad recently, and he was pointing out the people who had moved in and out of the neighborhood over the years: a symphony orchestra conductor from Japan, an anesthesiologist from South Africa, and he himself, a surgeon from Iran. This country is enriched through the collective knowledge different cultures bring with their studies and perspectives, and that awareness can lead to more compassion and, ultimately, more community.

If you are a good person doing no harm to others, how others view you doesn’t matter. What matters is how you see yourself, because that will give you the confidence to brighten the light within that may have been subconsciously dimmed. Immigrants bring perspective, and first-generation Americans create legacy through that perspective; don’t let your adolescent phase of feeling othered overshadow the ripple effect you are meant to carry out.

The Persian new year on March 20^th marked the first day of spring and symbolically welcomes new beginnings. We all have the opportunity to see our obstacles as seeds of growth, and for me, the way I’ve felt othered over the years has strengthened my ability to be a voice for those who may feel the same. Your voice matters, your experience matters, and your curiosity for other cultures will strengthen empathy and faith in humanity.

This community.

Everyone is so smart, curious— deep thinkers who want to have intergenerational conversations. I was recently asked a question about why younger women are “anti-marriage,” and I opened it up as a question tab on my Instagram story to hear what others thought about that.

The consensus was broken into four themes, and I’m going to give my perspective on each.

1. Women don’t want to settle anymore.

Amen to that!

The Director of Relationship Science at Hinge told me in an interview once that being a romantic is one of the reasons your love life can stall. I get it- it’s not beneficial to omit logic when fantasizing about the best-case scenario, but I’d rather infuse my mind with positivity and hope than fear and doubt.

I don’t think people understand what I mean when I say I’m a romantic. I’m not looking for grand gestures, public displays of affection or lavish gifts. What I mean when I say I’m a romantic is: I believe love is all or nothing. And I can’t love someone romantically if I can’t see all parts of myself growing with and for that person. When you’re single for a long time and you become content with yourself and what you know you can bring to the table, it becomes easier to discern who is not right for building a life with you.

Finding the “right” one doesn’t mean you’re too picky, contrary to what many married people might think. It means you have cultivated a life you love, and unless someone is adding to that, the value in compromise starts to fade.

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2. Marriage used to be a societal obligation and now it’s not something we need.

I have officiated three weddings (fourth on its way), been a bridesmaid four times (having bridesmaids has become less of a trend these days thank goodness), attended countless bachelorettes and showers, and I will say my perception of a wedding has changed because of it.

Marriage can be viewed as a blessed union or a law-abiding contract designed to align with the benefits of how our government is structured. Weddings have become part of a commercial industry and no matter how well the couple focuses on giving its guests the weekend of their lives, they all follow the same formatting.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love going to weddings and the ones I’ve attended have all seemed to be rooted in true love. In fact, I’m getting ready to go to one now as I write this.

But going to as many as I have has made me question the need for one. If you’re truly in love, shouldn’t everyday feel like your wedding day? Yes, I believe in celebrating life and TBH, when it’s my turn, I’ll probably want to rip it up—but, I don’t think it should be viewed as the best day of your life, or make you feel like a celebrity for a day. Marriage was designed to build families, and weddings became the PR for that messaging.

Now, younger generations feel more free to live life the way they want—choosing financial independence, emotional freedom and the pursuit of passion to build their own stable foundation, and then add a partner onto that—sort of like the icing on the cake.

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3. Growing up there weren’t many examples of happiness in marriages and people witnessed too many divorces.

The divorce rate peaked in 1980 and has been slowly declining ever since, so it makes sense why people who are now contemplating marriage grew up affected by the fear of an unhappy one, leaving a stain on themselves as well as the kids they might one day have, perpetuating a cycle.

No one grows up without a mental bruise and fear in relationships is very real. But sometimes the only way to overcome that fear and hope for a different outcome, is to take the risk and try something new.

I have the privilege of choice for the first time in my lineage. Both my mom and my grandma had arranged marriages (I call my parents’ marriage “arranged light” because they did date first) as was customary in the Persian culture. In addition to that, it was expected that women marry and raise a family rather than pursue a career.

The combination of my wonderful parents having an “arranged light” marriage and the amount of Disney I watched, made me a hopeful romantic, thinking that every relationship I’d enter would be met with the same pure intentions I had: commitment and love.

I also started to realize some people might be in arranged marriages without realizing it: the parent who sets their son up with their friend’s daughter to guarantee the same pedigree and social circles for their grandchildren, or the daughter who breaks up with their boyfriend because their parents disapprove of the other family’s background. These all have elements of arrangement.

Partnership comes in all different shapes; there is no one formula to this, and I think if we open our minds to that, we’ll start to realize we don’t need to follow anyone else’s format.

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4. Successful women can emasculate men.

As Taylor Swift so eloquently lyricized, “f**k the patriarchy.” We all know it by now—the system favors the patriarchy and that trickles down to everything from equal pay (or lack thereof) to dating.

Recently, a guy said to me, “I’m intimidated by your professional success.” And honestly? I was so relieved he said that. It was the first time someone named that out loud, rather than getting into a relationship, manipulating a woman’s insecurities to make her feel less than, only to one day come to realize it was all so that the insecure man could actually feel more than.

A woman’s accomplishment in this world is so hard-earned, and to do anything but celebrate that is degrading. What can become frustrating is when a romantic counterpart sees that as threatening, rather than inspiring, and that right there is why the hundreds of thousands of Swifties yell those three words in unison during the Eras tour.

Now, dear reader, this could make you think this chick’s been burned one too many times by a man, but I also think a lot of women feel this way.

That’s what I learned from the responses I got on my IG story. For many, marriage has become decentered. Now, whether that is a response to fear or growth is situational, but the younger generation is grateful for the knowledge they’ve learned from their ancestors, and is using that knowledge to make more personalized, and therefore more fulfilling, life choices.

Being anti-marriage doesn’t mean you’re anti-love and it doesn’t mean you’re anti-partnership. It just means people are starting to see the power of choice more clearly, and once the fear of societal and familial expectations dissipates, that power wields into molding the life that was always planted in your heart.

I want to get married one day. I’ve made that clear. But I only want it to happen with someone who can match, add to, and support my lifestyle and goals, just as I will for him, and I believe a lot of young women feel the same way.

Marriage isn’t the goal, a fulfilling life is, and us romantics hope a fantastic partnership that brings peaceful fun becomes a part of that.

Yet here I was, making a balloon arch.

I was visiting my friend for her daughter’s 2nd birthday. We’ve been friends since kindergarten, and I’ve happily been there for her recent milestones - officiating her wedding, delivering her gender reveal, and now, blowing up balloons on the floor of her gorgeous suburban home.

There’s a narrative that friendships in your 30s can make you feel more isolated. And honestly, I get it. When I visit my friends who are married with kids, I can tend to feel my stage in life is perceived as less urgent yet more free. They probably feel their own version of isolation, too.

But as a single 30-something, I’d like to reframe the narrative.

I realized something during that visit—having friendships in different stages of life can actually expand your perception of what’s possible, rather than limit your vision to the experience you already know.

It allows you to see what you like and what you don’t like, what you can handle, and what you hope not to handle.

By having friendships in different stages of life, you’re given a sneak peek into the type of future you want to mold for yourself. To quote Ariana Grande’s 7 Rings “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it” can be applied to all situations in life, not just romance.

Of course, it can be frustrating and isolating if you feel you’re not being heard by friends who can’t put themselves in your shoes, or if you feel an imbalance when there aren’t societal markers of celebration for being single. But, in the spirit of putting more love into our friendships, let’s re-energize those emotions into something beneficial.

What if we looked at having friends in different stages of life as an opportunity to manifest and design the life we want by learning, through their eyes, what’s right for you?

Any good friendship should withstand the awareness that we all have our own burdens to bear with obligations that ebb and flow. Strong friendships will endure, but it’s important to notice what you need from a friendship, and if you’re not getting it—take that desire into action by making new friends, rather than relying on those who can’t fulfill your needs.

It’s equally important to have friends in a similar stage of life. Those who will listen to you vent and understand where you’re coming from, those who have a positive mindset to back your hopes and dreams, and those who will take a spontaneous trip or go out for a spontaneous martini with you.

Friendship shouldn’t have an age limit, but it should offer you perspective. I have friends my age, younger, and older than me, and my main marker for a good friend now is how my energy feels when I leave them. Do they broaden or limit a perspective?

Yes, dynamics in your 30s are more complex than in your 20s, but I actually prefer that complexity to the singularity friendship in your 20s can exhibit.

My social life in my 20s became an extension of the friendships I made in high school and college, with the same group hangs and formula. Sure, I miss some aspects of it— weekday cozy nights in cooking a quasi-inedible meal and washing it down with Jam Jar wine, or getting ready together while blasting music and talking about who you were hoping to run into that night. But those default, comfortable group settings didn’t leave much room to explore individualized interests. Even though we were all “single,” I felt my own version of isolation then– and while it can be easier to name or validate a feeling when people around you grow into having different identifiers (i.e. wife, mom), the truth is, I felt more isolated in my 20s than I do in my 30s.

Love is measured by all the relationships you have in your life, not just the romantic ones. I learned this from my former colleague, mentor and friend, Hoda Kotb. She and I were having a conversation on air about love, and when I gave an opinion with the caveat that I was not currently in a relationship, she reminded me that knowing about love doesn’t come from being in a romantic relationship, and that to grow love is to focus on all relationships in your life—the love you give and receive in each of them.

Grow your friendships, and remember to go where you’re celebrated, not just where you celebrate—because true friendship can’t exist without mutuality, but it can offer perspective for expansion.

I am grateful to have friendships that show me what the future can look like, as well as friendships that understand what life does look like right now.

How cool is it to be able to experience the lives of those around you and infuse the parts you want to visualize in your own future?

Maybe I don’t like crafting activities, but I do love the idea of taking a sneak peek and crafting a future that’s right for me.

You should be proud of yourself, too. Think of something you’ve done this year, a promise you made to yourself that you followed through on. It could be as simple as making coffee at home more often than buying it outside, or something as specific as posting consistently for 90 days. Say it to yourself right now—take a deep breath, and with conviction speak into existence these words: “I’m proud of myself.”

That’s the spirit!

Now, I’ve written about identifiers and all the perspective I gained on my soul-searching trip, and I wouldn’t have experienced the kind of introspection I did over the past three months if I hadn’t declared myself an “intern at life.”

What does that even mean? Why 90 days? A lot of people wondered. It’s something I made up, so I get the questioning.

I started my career as an intern—a hungry, enthusiastic and curious student of the industry. As I transition into my next professional phase, I wanted to take those same traits I admire in myself that helped me achieve my dreams, to look at life through a wider lens—one that includes all aspects of life, and not just one. I’ve always been dedicated, but with that can come narrow focus, and the point of doing a self-proclaimed “internship at life,” was to open that focus, look around, and see what other opportunities exist in this lovely thing called life.

I also needed a goal for each day. I loved the show I worked on and the role I had, so I needed to recharge and reset my goals by giving myself a creative and novel experiment that would be held accountable not only by my self-discipline, but also by the community I feel so grateful to serve: YOU!

I wanted to push myself to post more, because posting more meant being more vulnerable, and being skillfully vulnerable is important to me as I continue to build and serve this community with my voice.

I also realized, in retrospect, that this could be a palette cleanser for what was and what will be: the internship between chapters. I chose 90 days because that’s the length of a season and although a typical internship is usually 60 days…I’m always one to choose the more challenging option.

What does it mean to intern at life? Well, that definition can really vary for each individual because it’s all about experiencing and embracing the spontaneity of life, but for me, it was an experiment on living life through the lens of detachment and exploration. I have always coined myself a “student of life,” meaning I’ve always had a hunger to grow and an enthusiasm to both learn from others and learn by experiencing something firsthand myself.

I wanted you to get to know me better as I got to better know myself.

Creating content is similar to filming a segment for air

I’ve experienced the 360 nature of getting a segment on the air, from producing to being the face of it, to coming up with a social component to promote it. Content creation is interesting because it’s a bit like a social experiment—you don’t know who it will resonate with and there isn’t as much of a formula as there is for TV, so playing around with new ways to connect with an audience has been an exciting feat I welcome with joy! I love knowing I can continue to merge the two worlds with the background I’m consistently cultivating.

Make the commitment to show up, even if no one else is cheering you on

I like to follow through on whatever it is I say I’m going to do, so when I posted that I was going on a 90-day journey, I felt a little fear because I had no roadmap planned and yet, I knew I was going to be consistent and show up online. Unfortunately, it’s hard to escape negativity or people whose energy you can feel aren’t supportive, especially when you’re carving your own unique path. But I knew I was doing this for myself, and if it inspired even a few people to live boldly, it would be worth it. Showing up consistently is more than half the battle in anything you decide to do, and it’s the strongest act of self-discipline.

Posting requires vulnerability

I wanted you to get to know me more. My favorite thing about the host chats on broadcast and radio was that I was able to share my perspective the most, and the more experienced I became, the more comfortable I was with sharing that voice. I’d like to do more of that, because I believe we’re all more connected than we know. The more I posted, the less nerve-wracking it became and the more fun I had. I’ve never liked the term “cringe.” I think if you are feeling “cringe” about something or someone who is putting themselves out there, it’s an insecurity of your own that you’re projecting. Let’s all be the reason someone feels supported, not judged.

You don’t need external validation; confidence comes from within

When you’re trying something on your own without a team, it can feel daunting to not have anyone else reassure, validate or even proof edit your work. Going viral is not my goal. Building a lasting community is. I’ve learned that sharing more has made it easier for me to create content that I genuinely enjoy, that passion creates longevity, and that longevity creates the space for lasting connections. Whether you’re debuting a new wardrobe look or choosing a new career path— do it with confidence in yourself, because external validation will always be fleeting.

Try something new by saying yes to the little things

When you say yes to the little things (i.e. meeting that person you ran into on the street for that suggested coffee date), you end up pushing yourself to get out of the house more. I’ve always considered myself an extrovert, but I needed my introverted moments to recharge. I found that with this 90-day experiment my introverted moments lessened as I was socializing more, and I realized it made me let my guard down more than usual, which, in turn, gave me the opportunity to learn more from the people around me.

A student can teach, a teacher can learn

Even if you think someone can’t relate to your experience, you’ll realize you can learn from everybody’s perspective. As long as you learn to exercise that self-trust and ignore any projections, you’ll become richer in knowledge by talking to others. I spoke to so many friends and strangers on my travels, and I always left a conversation thinking we are all more connected than we realize, we are all more compassionate than we may realize, and we all need each other more than we may realize. Being a student of life makes you want to be more social, and having fun attracts more joy into your life.

I refuse to make stress an indicator of success; it’s ok to take it slow

Stress is terrible for our health! And even so, I spent over a decade thriving in stress. I will always lead with urgency, but I refuse to confuse stress as an indicator of success. I believe success is peace, gratitude and motivation. Peace for our ability within ourselves to carry through our goals in divine timing, gratitude for enjoying all we’ve built and will continue to build, and motivation for the passion and urgency we need to light a fire under us to keep building.

There is a lot to come for this community in 2026. I’m committed to both living boldly and taking my time as I journey through this next chapter serving this community. Thank you for growing with me and thank you for going on this 90-day ride with me (and, might I add, congratulations on fulfilling the first quarter of the 21st century!). Let’s all enjoy life more by adopting that same “intern at life” mentality.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy, joyful, and romantic 2026 and know that it is ok to take it slow—because slow and steady wins the race, remember? ;) xoxo!

In my last post, I wrote about why I decided to walk a portion of El Camino de Santiago. A refresher for those who didn’t read it: el Camino is an ancient pilgrimage across Spain, France and Portugal that many tourists also walk for self-reflection, and with that comes a feeling of connection and spirituality.

It was a completely new experience for me, and one I booked on a whim. I used an agency (Follow the Camino) that helped me book hotels each night in a new Spanish town along the Camino route and transferred my luggage each morning. I knew how many miles I had to walk each day (17 at the most and 8 at the least), and the best way to follow directions were from the Camino signs planted along the way. I got lost a couple of times, but for the most part, the directional sign came at the exact moment I needed, which felt like a nod to the spiritual aspect of the walk.

At the beginning of my “study abroad pt. 2” trip (that’s what I’ve been calling it), my friend in London gave me a journal and told me to write everyday and then reread my pages at the end of the trip. I am so grateful she gave me that task; every morning and every evening I’d start and end my days with a journal entry, and as I’ve just reread them, I want to share some of my words with you in hopes that it will find those who need a similar kind of inspiration I did.

“I think I’m meant to share in life with others.”

I had been craving solitude in order to tune into my voice and my intuition, trying to minimize external noise and magnify self-trust. I’m good at spending time by myself- I enjoy my own company. But honestly, this trip made me realize that I want to share the benefits of this journey and period of growth with others. I want to spread joy. There are times I don’t feel as joyful as I know I can feel, but for the most part I enjoy celebrating, having fun, spreading joy, and I want to share in all of that with you. Having you join me along the way is what will continue to make this journey sweeter and that much more fulfilling.

“I feel like a kid again with a backpack and a smile. Maybe it’s that my intuition has always been strong-when I got to Sevilla the first time I remember unpacking thinking WTF am I doing here, but I knew I was meant to be there. 14 years later I’m wondering the same thing—WTF am I doing here on this trip—but I also know I’m meant to be here.”

Everyday on my walk I’d carry a backpack and a fanny pack and I’d feel so exuberant and ebullient about what the day would bring. I’d find myself smiling from ear to ear as I’d take off on my walk for the day. I was so grateful to my body for being able to walk all these miles daily, and I was grateful to have the opportunity to give my mind and soul the benefits not only a walk, but specifically a spiritual walk, can bring. Have you ever known you were meant to do something or live somewhere? When I was 20 I decided to spend my entire junior year of college abroad. I remember a lot of my friends didn’t really understand my decision, but my gut was telling me it was the right move for me, and that it would give me long-term benefits I couldn’t have expected or articulated then. When I was unpacking my suitcase in my homestay apartment in 2011, I remember for a split-second thinking—WTF am I doing?! and similarly, when I set off on my first Camino walk this fall I remember laughing to myself thinking—WTF am I doing?! Both moments were fleeting, and both decisions brought long-term benefits to my well-being, the latter of which I have yet to see in completion. A long-winded way of saying…trust that you can make the best decisions for yourself; it’s ok if others don’t get it.

“I think I like creating content- it’s a lot of work but it feels fun and fulfilling right now. Maximize every opportunity in life, right? But also know when to just be- agozar (enjoy).”

A quiet motto I’ve had in life is to maximize every opportunity. I’m someone who fears the feeling of regret, so I like to push myself to the limit with every opportunity I create, because I never want to look back thinking, if only I had done something differently the outcome would be different. There’s peace in knowing that you couldn’t have done any more than you did in any given situation, and peace creates joy. I decided to create content everyday of my trip because honestly, it was like creating a segment on TV everyday, except this time it was for my community online, and I had so much fun creating. I hope you had fun watching, too. :)

“I had the best sleep in a while at this hotel that felt haunted a la WeHo.”

I have traveled and slept in more hotel rooms than I can count (primarily for work), and because of this, I can always tell if a hotel room is haunted. It’s just that eerie feeling you get, and sometimes it wakes you up in the middle of the night. This line made me laugh reading it back because I have zero concrete evidence to support this, but the most haunted hotel I slept it was in West Hollywood, aka WeHo, and it was The Hollywood Roosevelt. Now, this hotel I was writing from (in which I was the only guest) in the small town of Castilblanco de los Arroyos, Spain, was giving The Hollywood Roosevelt on a much different scale (Marilyn Monroe certainly did not have champagne here), but my tired and content body forced my mind to quiet and fall into, surprisingly, the best sleep on the trip yet.

“Ok yesterday was absolutely insane. 17 miles- I started out smiling and so happy and then my feet started hurting tremendously and I had to stop so many times. I don’t think I’ve experienced that type of physical pain!”

I walked 70 miles total over five days, and two of those days I walked 17 miles each. I decided to wear the sneakers I had purchased for the half marathon I had run the year prior, and that was probably my first mistake. My feet were throbbing and in the most pain I had experienced. At one point, I even took them off and tried to walk in my socks (my only company being deer, birds, flying ants, and bees—they weren’t going to judge me). That only lasted about 20 steps.

“I will say emotionally and mentally I feel fantastic and the views yesterday of the trees and rivers and mountains were spectacular. I don’t think I’ve ever closed my eyes in nature that peacefully before.”

Since there wasn’t a person in sight 80% of the time, I felt the path was my personal spiritual runway. I’d talk to myself out loud, I’d sigh as loud as I possibly could, I’d cry, I’d laugh after a good cry, and I’d lay on the bare Earth, head on my backpack and eyes peacefully closed (not typical for me—I usually am slightly afraid of the unpredictability wildlife can bring)… until a swarm of flying ants would whisper in my ears with their buzz and coerce me to get up and keep walking.

“Today I started out a little lost, then I made a turn and ran into another…we walked the whole way together… I’ve been so exhausted physically but we took breaks and it was re-energizing to be with someone and exchange stories/thoughts with a stranger. Our emotions and feelings are universal.”

It’s amazing how I started my day lost and ended it with a new friend! As soon as I got back on the right path I ran into another “peregrina” pilgrim (that’s the term for someone walking el Camino) from Germany and we walked the remainder of the day’s miles together. It was so cathartic to talk to a stranger of a similar age, in a similar stage of life on a peaceful path that offered no other options for conversation. We even broke for lunch on the path (she, an avid hiker, packed lunch in her camper backpack, and offered me one of her delicious dates) sitting on rocks with an unbeatable view in front of us. It reminded me that it’s good to have a goal (the destination), but the real joy is in the vibrant and unexpected moments along the journey.

“Excited to see what today will bring me!”

Sometimes we’re forced to embrace the unknown, and sometimes that can be really annoying, TBH. But, I think something we don’t always realize is that we’ve always had to embrace the unknown in every stage of life, we just didn’t know it at the time because maybe the timelines felt more finite: graduations, internships, etc. This walk taught me that embracing the unknown doesn’t have to be scary, because what’s just around the riverbend might be the best thing to happen to you yet. So keep walking, keep dreaming, and keep believing.

“We are now in Extremadura so I walked 70 miles from Andalucía to Extremadura (regions in Spain) and it’s so cool to see! Today was truly perfect. I reflected so much on the walk and wasn’t in physical pain until about 2 miles left. I cried a little, smiled a lot, and laughed a little delighting in my thoughts and memories.”

Sometimes your own thoughts can be like a good song, you want to replay and restart them because you don’t feel you enjoyed them enough. I think the best company on my trip were the thoughts in my head, something I wouldn’t have expected to feel, but the day dreaming, visualizing and hoping, mixed with experiencing nature in movement made my intuition shine and grounded my mind to the spirituality of el Camino.

“The perfect challenge I’d 100% do again—and now I know that I like this sort of trip, too. We dynamic, people!”

I had always felt a whisper about doing el Camino, but I had never done a hiking trip like this before. Now that I know I enjoy doing it, my future travel plans will always include a little nature and activity. I understand travel is a luxury; with that said, I truly feel it can help you better understand yourself. I’ve always believed we’re all dynamic and we should let our layers shine! If I had a Real Housewives tagline, which I won’t, I think it would be: I’ve got a lot of layers so start peeling. Ha!

“I think el Camino will have an ongoing and continuous effect on me // and also in how capable I am of facing the unknown on my own, though in the end I wasn’t alone—and perhaps never really was [symbolically].”

The more birthdays I have, the more spiritual I become and the more I trust myself and my intuition. Even though I was alone for most of this trip, I never really felt alone because I felt an inner spark guide me. I also felt at ease with the nature surrounding me—except for one moment. One of the days I saw nonstop torrential rain, thunder, lightening- the works. I waited at a churrería in town for the store that sold umbrellas and raincoats to open, and once I purchased all my rain gear and apparel I set off into the misty, dark day. On this day, whenever the Earth “cried,” so did I. It felt good and it felt like a unique opportunity for release. You know that feeling when you’re hunched down because you’re so cold, damp, and uncomfortable? Well, that’s how I was positioned, looking down at my mud-caked sneakers moving in squishy harmony, when all of a sudden I looked up. I remember seeing signs along the way that read in Spanish to close the gates, and online, I had read that if you didn’t oblige, it would lead to loose cattle along the path. Well, when I looked up from my clenched position, I came face-to-face with a cow, chewing on grass. We were six inches apart. My heart dropped and I quickly cut off a squeal. I smiled and slowly walked away, keeping my eyes on the cow but also on the road ahead, when all of a sudden I saw another—except this time, it was a bull. This bull moved from the side of the path to right in front of me, in between two arching trees forming the pathway ahead. He seemed to have intentionally moved in sight, puffed out its chest to assert its dominance, and I froze in fear. What do I do? I started reciting the bear saying “if it’s brown lay down”…I stopped myself. What am I talking about this isn’t a bear …do I know any sayings for bulls? Can they smell my fear? I obviously can’t call anybody, there’s no one in sight and I don’t even know how anyone would find me with urgency. I decided to slowly take out my phone and start to google what to do and as soon as I looked up again, the bull disappeared. An eerie but calm feeling came over me as I realized a bull had just appeared out of nowhere and made itself known, then left me to be—that had to be a sign! As soon as I got to my hotel that night, after taking a piping hot shower and washing the mud off my shoes, I decided to google the spiritual significance of a bull, to which strength and resilience came up!

Maybe this journal entry can be your “bullish” reminder that we all have strength and resilience within us. Let it activate your path and let it lead us all into the positivity the unknown can bring, reminding us of the past “unknowns” we’ve conquered before. Let it help you find your way. Que tengáis un buen camino.

After 12 wonderfully determined, innovative, fulfilling and awe-inspiring years with NBC’s TODAY Show, I needed a reset. But I was scared to do the one thing I was used to doing and always loved: travel.

What was this fear I was feeling? About my favorite hobby-turned-work obligation?

I have always loved travel. I think it was the first reason I ever felt that physicality that accompanies anticipation—a burst of exhilaration in my stomach making my heart beat fast and smile widen. I was privileged to be able to travel with my family when I was young, and I remember getting on my dad’s lap, eyes lighting up with excitement from the bright computer screen displaying Expedia.com, knowing that website meant hotels, flights, and adventure.

Choosing the path of TV and journalism, I had dreamt of traveling for work consistently—meeting new people, trying new experiences and exploring different cultures. There was nothing that satiated my curiosity and zest for life quite like a trip—whether to Missouri or Paris.

The first time I got put up in a hotel for work was during a blizzard. In producing the host chat at the time, they didn’t want to risk my delayed commute so I stayed in a hotel right near Rockefeller Center, only 30 minutes from my apartment at the time. At 24-years-old, I squealed with excitement and called my parents to tell them I had made it. I was finally “traveling” for work.

Except I wasn’t really… but that would come.

A couple of years would go by and I’d eventually travel at least 2-4 times a month for work. I loved everything about it—the airports, the flights, the hotels, the urgency of figuring out how to get to a destination on the fly when flights were cancelled, and of course—the people, sights, stories and bites I’d experience upon arrival.

I’ve always been driven and ambitious, so when a large part of my role became reporting in the field, I felt fulfilled that my purpose of connecting people through storytelling was being utilized, and that was reflected in part by my Delta Diamond status.

On a personal level though, my travel experiences really only came from attending friends’ weddings, and though I was grateful to be able to attend each destination celebration, the travel always felt in service of someone or something else.

I started to realize that my relationship with travel was a little bit reflective of my relationship with myself— I was identifying with my job title the most, and my obligations as a friend and family member second.

I needed a reset. I needed to reframe.

But why was I afraid? Change is hard, and I honestly was nervous I wouldn’t enjoy travel as much if it wasn’t done the way I had been used to doing it for the past decade—with a camera crew, a story & a deadline.

A friend of mine, ironically enough, gave me a deadline to plan a trip for myself, and another friend happened to offer me her flat in London while she was traveling—without me even mentioning the trip! It felt like the Universe was nudging me to book something—to refine my relationship with myself, with travel and quite frankly, with identity.

As I traveled through London, Spain & Edinburgh, I was curious about how others saw themselves as I was exploring my own lens on life. What was their main focus in how they lived?

London felt a bit similar to New York culture in the sense that where you worked and what you did for work determined the lifestyle you led and the way you presented yourself to others.

The culture in Spain led more with community-based values than purpose-driven ones, denoting the importance of gathering and enjoying the art of leisure and being social with loved ones.

In Edinburgh, it seemed the view on identity largely stemmed from where residents originally came from, and the shared love they had for the city they moved to.

I’ll be honest- London was the hardest part of the trip for me. I had a blast with so many friends and being a tourist in a familiar town, but the process of turning my fear into fun took me a minute, and London happened to be the city in between that for me.

Waking up in Spain was —I think— the best decision I could have made for myself.

I went back to Spain for the first time in 14 years. It’s a place that’s held the best memories and huge significance for me because I lived there for a month when I was 15 and for a year when I was 20. I was hesitant to go back because I didn’t want to taint and rewrite memories that had shaped a significant part of me. It was a place I had planted dreams, learned to leisurely enjoy and relaxed my personality a bit, a necessary push that would strengthen my ability to enjoy life more down the road.

Well, this was down the road—and I needed to be reminded of that again. So, I decided this was the monumental moment that would bring me back to Spain. A moment where I was craving a reset in my life, and a reminder that relaxing isn’t a setback, it’s an art that can help you curate the life you were meant to live. It was energizing to go back to a place I had once planted seeds of dreams that came true, and here I was planting new ones.

While I was in Spain I decided to do something I’d never done before, an exercise in strengthening discomfort and growth. Over the years I had heard of “El Camino de Santiago”—I had even visited Santiago de Compostela, the city that marks the end of the pilgrimage, which spans France, Portugal and Spain.

I decided on the “Via de la Plata” route or “the silver way” because I wanted to start my journey from Sevilla. While I was walking alone 80% of the time, I did meet three others who were finding their way on El Camino, too. A mother and daughter duo from Europe- the mother had done different versions of “El Camino,” or “the walk,” several times, and the daughter was taking a break from work and traveling the world for a year.

Another friend I made was a woman from Germany about my age, looking to the Camino as a way to meditate, bring about fresh ideas and revel in the solitude and nature— a little like me! Everyone I’d met on the Camino were open to their identities blossoming— recognizing that our character is the anchor to our identity, but the lens through which we view those identities can become more open and adaptable, just as we needed to be on the trail in order to face each unknown that would inevitably meet us there.

To close out the trip I stopped through Edinburgh. I decided to make that leg of the trip spontaneous in the sense that I didn’t really plan for anything in advance, and most of the sights I saw I stumbled upon: a museum on the people of Edinburgh, a tenement museum inside an ice cream shop, and a reenactment of old underground alleys. It was nice to not have structure for once, but instead a goal paired with the ability and simplicity of delighting in one’s surroundings—similar to my takeaway from El Camino. I also learned there are two types of people— those who will try the haggis, and those who won’t. I’d always like to be in the former category, and that made me realize the importance of understanding your interests; feeding what stimulates you is part of learning—and owning—your identity.

So, maybe the key to defining your identity is understanding there isn’t one singular way. Sure, your character stays the same—but you grow, mature, and hopefully evolve. Sure, you can’t change where you’re from or the background you were born with, but you can choose to either embrace it or run from it. Sure, you choose your friends and your occupation—but you can learn to strengthen your self-trust to make decisions for your individual benefit or rely on groupthink and group mentalities within those communities.

This was absolutely a healing trip—I partied, I reconnected with friends, I delighted in my solitude, in new adventures, new sights and new sounds. I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone by trying out a whole new experience (El Camino), encountering wildlife (ask me about the bull and I’ll tell you the terrifying story), relying on myself alone and engaging with more strangers (with or without a camera).

I’m going to take my more relaxed, but still courageous and bold self into this next chapter and it’s going to be fantastic. Everything you experience can be inspiration if you have the creativity and the passion. Everything, poco a poco (little by little).

Identity is a big topic and I’ve only scratched the surface, but I do believe understanding how others see themselves gives us the inspiration and confidence to expand our own. I love learning more and more that the human experience really is universal. We all have wins and losses that are unique to us, and we’ve all experienced the rollercoaster ride that is human emotion. I think that’s why travel can be so important for reflection. It is the highest form of being able to see different perspectives and in turn, reflect on your own. So I ask you, as I ask myself — how has your view on your identity shaped the way you live? Do you want to carry on that way or do you want to reset and reframe?

A year ago I documented the process of working with a matchmaker on NBC’s TODAY Show, and I’m sharing my experience from the segment below with a little added preface.

I think the last paragraph you’ll read is the most important— being single is a choice and it’s an empowering one at that, and knowing you only want to be with the person who will elevate and become a co-producer in your life together is a specific order.

But I firmly believe in it, because I have faith that the seeds planted in your heart are there for a reason. Don’t get consumed by what the internet or pop culture deem to be “in” or “cool” when it comes to the “do’s and don’ts” of dating, focus on your self-trust—because that’s what will carry you through all the ebbs and flows of not just dating, but life.

And you know what’s cooler than following a trend? Starting it. Knowing that your anchoring belief in love and what’s to come defies groupthink because it’s unique to you.

Once you’ve named what you want, the hard part is trusting not that it’s best for you, but that it will happen—because no one else is going to have the vision you have for yourself, and when you ask for advice, you’ll likely get people’s opinions projected from their own situations onto yours.

The biggest gift you can give your peace of mind and lover mentality is the gift of self-trust. You know when a date is good. You know when a date is not for you. You know when to give someone another chance, and you know when to stop. Self-trust is turning down the external noise, taking opinions with a grain of salt, and turning up the volume on your intuition. This is a practice I’m still working on, but it is liberating every time.

Essay and segment from December 2024 below:

https://www.today.com/life/essay-life/matchmaker-services-rcna182831

I’ve been single for five years. The first few, I wasn’t focused on dating — I was on my healing journey. Not just from a single bad breakup, but from the collective heartbreak and disappointment romance can bring.

I did workouts designed to release emotional pits in the body, meditated, took workshops on understanding emotions, went to therapy, and yes, consumed self-help books and podcasts. My goal was to focus on myself and heal any insecurities and trauma I had from failed romances in the past. But, introspection can only go so far. Eventually, I’d need to get back out there. Funny enough, I knew it was time to commit to dating seriously because I was completely content being single. I feel happier than ever on my own, and I am finally comfortable in my own skin. You know what they say: You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.

Enter in: my dating era.

For the past couple of years I’ve dabbled in dating apps, set-ups, speed dating and even just going out to flirt IRL! I really put myself out there with the intention of finding my match, maybe for the first time ever. In my teens and 20s I was focused on building my career, not dating. Now, at 33, my interest is revving up and I am ready to fill my life with more romantic love.

With my mind and heart as open as ever, I decided to try a method I was curious about: modern matchmaking. I hadn’t been getting dates on the apps beyond the first few months; they were starting to feel gamified, and as if the algorithm wanted me to stay on and keep searching, rather than find success and get off. Since I work for TODAY, our executive producer asked me if I would ever try working with a matchmaker and document the process on air. I surprised myself by saying yes. It was a method I’d never tried and had been curious about, but mainly I agreed because I thought it might actually provide a shot at finding love.

The New York Times, Business Insider, The New York Post and The Atlantic have all reported on the rise of matchmaking, sparking curiosity and conversation among my single friends and me. Who better to turn to than Devyn Simone, a matchmaker and dating expert with Three Day Rule, a modern matchmaking service.

She happily took on my case. We got on a Zoom meeting and I told her what I was looking for: someone who’s consistently kind, driven, family-oriented, open to other cultures, and who has a growth mindset and a zest for life. Our meeting itself felt a little like a date! She asked me about myself, my work life and personal life. Then she requested that I use the same “intentionality, consistency and patience” that I had in designing my dream career to design a relationship that works for me. She also asked about past relationships, what worked and what didn’t — which, by the way, felt much easier than I had anticipated.

Then, to better organize my priorities, Devyn asked me about my three must-haves and three dealbreakers, as well as a nice-to-have list, all the while prescribing me with what I might need — i.e., someone who values intellectual curiosity, is emotionally intelligent and purpose-driven. I was so excited to speak to someone who not only understood where I was coming from, but who could also better identify and articulate the attributes that are important to me.

Months later, Devyn, her colleague Krissy and I met to recap what we had discussed in the past and to learn about my two matches — mere minutes before my dates with them. (We did it this way to efficiently document the process for the show, but typically people will be asked to make contact with their matches within 24-48 hours of being presented with them.) Unlike some matchmakers, Devyn believes in showing her clients photos of their matches before their dates (rather than going in blindly), and we did just that! I saw photos and bios of the two guys I was about to go on dates with, and I immediately felt a wave of excitement, nerves and adrenaline flow through my body.

Let’s do this, I thought.

I was with Devyn, Krissy, my producers and our camera crew, ready to roll on our first date, which was to play billiards. (Pro tip from Devyn: Activity-based dates are the best because they reduce the pressure of constant conversation and make interactions feel more organic and less forced — way more comfortable than sitting interview-style at a bar.) Ten minutes before the date was supposed to start, I went to the bathroom to change into my billiards outfit, and when I entered back in the room with everyone, I heard a male voice on speakerphone — it was my date, and he was calling the matchmakers to say he could no longer make it. The room bustled with excuses for his behavior, giving him the benefit of the doubt, but my gut knew: This was a guy who could’ve made it work if he really wanted to, and instead, stood me up.

And you know what I realized? Dating in the matchmaking world is just like dating in the real world on your own. Even with a situation as controlled as mine — I had two producers working on logistics and shooting the date, and two matchmakers vetting and securing the matches — things still didn’t work out. My point is, you can’t escape the flaws and perils of dating. Instead, you have to become strong enough to weather them and stay standing tall for when the right one comes along.

My date with my second and final match happened immediately after. I changed into my next outfit to go bowling (again, activity alert!), and since I was feeling a little disappointed, I regrouped my energy to give this guy as much as I could. He was kind and respectful, and easy to have fun with. My matchmaking experience was limited but will hopefully be ongoing, because even though I didn’t get matched with the one, I did feel an internal shift — a portal of new possibilities opening up. Though I can’t say my matchmaking experience (so far — now that I’m in the database, I could always get matched with someone else later on) was any more positive than a dating app experience, I did learn a lot about myself. Through working with Devyn, I’m now able to better articulate what I want and what I don’t want in a relationship, which is a step in the right direction.

I think oftentimes single people get a bad rap. And I don’t get that. It’s hard to thrive independently in a society that rewards partnership, and, in my opinion, being happily single is something that should be looked at with regard. Being single is a choice. I have chosen to be single until I find someone who adds to the life I’ve built. While I know all relationships have ups and downs, I firmly believe a partner should make your average Wednesday better, happier, easier. I’m a hopeful romantic, it’s in my nature — or maybe my nurture, with the help of a Disney movie or two. Dating is hard — it requires strength and hope. This might be an odd take, but now that I know I can’t escape the perils of dating — matchmaker or not — I feel empowered to go forth. I know I’m not meant to thrive with every date, but I’m hopeful I’ll learn, stay positive and enjoy the journey.

https://www.today.com/life/relationships/making-new-friends-rcna202876

I’ve always been a big fan of weddings. I’m outgoing and enjoy social events for the very reason that life should be celebrated. All too often, when friends complained about their social calendars and the onslaught of weddings they were asked to attend, I never understood the issue — how could you be upset about being asked to celebrate love? But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that wedding-related celebrations — bachelorette parties included — can unfortunately become your only means of socializing once you enter your 30s.

As more and more of my close friends got married and moved away from New York City, my social life shifted in a major way I never saw coming. A few close friends from college moved to the west coast, and soon, my high school friends slowly began to peel off too. With that shift, I noticed that my inner spark had started to fade.

To help combat my dwindling friend group, I focused on dating, but soon realized that finding “Mr. Right” wasn’t as easy for me as it was for my girlfriends. That’s when I decided to shift my energy — it wasn’t enough for me to simply seek out new connections and friendships. I had to be intentional and say “yes” to absolutely any and everything I was invited to. Openness and enthusiasm became my focus in hopes that new friendships would unfold.

Enter the party that changed everything: I was invited to a holiday get-together in 2023 where I knew very few people. I showed up solo, and while nervous, I was excited at the potential of meeting a single guy. Spoiler: That didn’t happen. Instead, I introduced myself to two new-to-me friends who exuded positive energy and warmth. We chatted and the three of us bonded over our shared love of work and current life stage. Our conversation flowed so seamlessly, and both women seemed so fun and fulfilled. They quickly folded me into a group chat (that’s still going strong today) and we spent more and more time together.

Fast-forward a few months, and the three of us were at a trendy restaurant in the city when summer travel plans came up in conversation. My new friends were discussing a group trip to France when they asked if I would join. The timing was perfect — all I needed to do was book a flight to St. Tropez. I was mid-burger bite when it dawned on me that I’d never have fewer responsibilities than I did at that moment. Why not take advantage of an impromptu, far-flung trip with new friends?

I booked the flight, and spent the week dancing in the south of France — a place that I had recently added to my travel list, oddly enough. I couldn’t remember the last time I went on a trip with friends that wasn’t in celebration of someone or something, like a bachelorette or impending wedding. In that moment, it felt empowering to have a good time just for the sake of having fun.

That was only the beginning of a large rollout of new friends that I gained, and it all started with a “yes” mindset that I applied to every invitation that appealed to me. I made it my focus to put out as much welcoming energy as possible, and while it certainly felt vulnerable at times, making new friends made me feel like myself again.

I attach a certain value to having fun, so I applied this “yes is more” mindset to new hobbies — including acting and improv — and uncovered old hobbies with new friends along the way. I joined a social club that allows me to play squash, and now use every excuse to connect (and reconnect) with friends and neighbors. I act like a tourist in my own town and even checked out a walking club in New York — City Girls Who Walk — that stresses the importance of quite literally stepping outside of your comfort zone with complete strangers.

Once I adapted to the rhythm of putting myself out there and going out of my way to meet new people, I understood that the unknown is a positive thing. So many of us, regardless of marital status or age, crave connection, whether it’s long-lasting or fleeting.

People talk about manifesting the life you want, and my version of manifesting has become saying “yes” to opportunities and connections that I feel energetically aligned to. Ultimately, I’ve started to feel like myself again as a result of meeting new people and creating memories along the way. I’m living life on my own terms, and my cup is filled because of it.

Here’s an actionable list to support the art of making new friends:

1. Say yes to every invitation that appeals to you. Go on your own and leave any narrow mindsets at the door!

2. Try a new hobby, you never know what it will bring. I tried acting classes, made a friend with a writer/director, starred in his movie, and now we’re taking improv classes together!

3. Tap into an old hobby. I reacquainted myself with a sport I used to play, squash! I played D1 in college for a year and was burnt out, so I hadn’t played since. It’s tough to get back into a sport you used to be good at, but if you focus on the social aspect of the sport rather than your rating—isn’t’ that what it’s all about now anyways? I joined a social club that allows me to play squash and maybe have a martini or two afterwards! But you don’t need to join a club to get back into an old routine—explore what used to make you happy when you were a student and find a place near you that will meet the criteria!

4. Use social media—do you ever think that it’s so odd you know what everyone you’re following is up to? Even if you haven’t spoken to them in years, decades even? Reconnect with old friends that you haven’t seen IRL in a while. If they live near you, DM them to get together! If they don’t, ask them for the next time they’ll be in town. You’ll be surprised at how people will react; often, everyone could use a “new” friend.

5. Wedding celebrations—if you, like me, find yourself in the depth of the wedding market, keep your heart open to making new connections at the bachelorette, bridal shower or wedding itself. Chances are, if the bride is your mutual friend, you’re going to get along—and if that friend is a good friend, they’re going to want that for you, too.

6. Make friends with your neighbors! Have a conversation in the elevator with your neighbors—regardless of age you can learn from them and share different perspectives. Once I adapted to the rhythm of meeting new people, I realized my next-door neighbor was around my age, single and driven! I met her neighborhood friend, and we started going to new haunts around the neighborhood, exploring the city in a new light!

7. Travel! I remember when I turned 30 I did a segment interviewing people of all ages who also shared a milestone birthday that year. My main takeaway from that interview was to live your life and do what you want to do, without waiting to be in the “right” situation for it—specifically, without waiting for the “right” person to do it with. I have traveled on my own, visited friends, and traveled with youth groups (ages 18-35) making new friends from across the globe, bonded by new adventures and experiences. This mentality can also be taken locally --act like a tourist in your own town! Go to that museum you’ve been wanting to check out, do a local walking tour, eat at a new trendy restaurant and sit at the bar (bring a book, journal, or your fave podcast). It’s all about taking action in doing what you have always wanted to do and shaking off the reservation of feeling awkward doing it alone.

https://www.today.com/health/essay/egg-freezing-body-image-rcna168824

When I chose to freeze my eggs — something that took me two years to mull over and decide — I sought out the consult of women my age who had already done the same. A frequent warning I got was about a common physical side effect of the process: “Covering the bloat” was something I was repeatedly told I’d have to deal with. So naturally, when my timeline was set in stone, I put together a wardrobe for work and play that I hoped would do the trick.

But then, once I was in the thick of the process, something surprising happened. I realized that I didn’t care how I looked. At all.

Let me back up to one of my earliest memories — it’s relevant, I promise. It was August 1994, my third birthday party, and my parents graciously gifted me the presence of my favorite movie stars: Aladdin and Jasmine. I used to watch “Aladdin” every day, sometimes multiple times a day, so I’ve been told. I loved the fairy-tale aspect, and I idolized Jasmine — maybe because I hadn’t seen Middle Eastern beauty represented anywhere else.

When actors dressed as Aladdin and Jasmine showed up at our house, I froze. I remember thinking, “I can’t believe these people are in my home, and they’re here for me!” I could barely smile or speak — I just kept staring at them in awe, starstruck. After singing a couple of songs in front of my friends and me, it was time for cake (probably my favorite part). My mom set out the cake along with crudité and other bites for the parents, and while I was thinking, “I can’t wait to eat that cake,” I heard Jasmine behind me squeal in excitement. She must have been as eager for cake as I was! We have something in common, I thought excitedly. Then she said, “Ooh, cucumbers!”

That moment has been ingrained in my psyche since I heard those two words. I remember thinking that if I want to look and be like Jasmine, well then I, too, need to prioritize the cucumbers over the cake.

And yes, I was only 3 years old, but we all have a first memory we can’t forget.

My brain was wired around food and body image from a young age, hitting its peak distress in my late teens and early 20s. My insecurities around my body took up so much room in my brain.

As an adult, I’ve done a lot of work to feel more comfortable in my body, and to stop being so hard on myself — but that seed of negativity never fully went away. I’m the type of person who asks to avoid seeing the number on the scale when I get weighed at doctor’s appointments, and if I accidentally see the number, mental havoc rules my week. I’m also the type of person to have an intense HIIT workout routine for both physical upkeep and mental release. So, I’ll be honest — when the time was approaching for my egg freezing cycle to begin, I was anxious about not what my body would feel, but how I would feel about how it looked.

What I never expected though was to completely embrace my body — mentally, physically and emotionally — throughout egg freezing, despite the fact that, yes, I was bloated and also had to limit physical activity. For two weeks I injected myself with hormones 2-3 times a day, combining the solutions on my own, feeling quick bouts of injection pain and periods of fatigue, and traveling to doctor’s appointments constantly. After each shot, ultrasound or blood draw, I’d await my body’s reaction. Would I feel run down? Stressed? Anxious about any expansion around my stomach? I waited, but that’s not what happened. I mostly felt … strong. I was surprised and delighted by what my body was capable of. The strength I felt made me feel immensely grateful for my body and what it could endure. I felt empowered. The experience also, frankly, made me angry at myself for all the times I criticized my body’s appearance in the past, and all the time and energy I wasted on that way of thinking.

Body image is a construct. It is an idea of what society deems to be subjectively appealing and has been supported by the media over decades and generations. I’m so glad society is evolving and becoming more welcoming of all shapes and sizes, but you can’t rely on internet culture and the news cycle for acceptance, especially since what is acceptable is constantly changing. It needs to come authentically and wholeheartedly from within.

I wanted to freeze my eggs in my 32nd year, and I did just that: My egg retrieval was on my last day of being 32. For my 33rd birthday — exactly three decades after that birthday party I remember as a girl — I started the year with a clean slate, freeing up that space in the back of my mind that used to be hyper-focused on what I looked like, for something new.

I vow to be less critical of how my body appears, and more in touch with how it feels. I vow to be mindful of the cucumbers and enjoy the cake, and maybe I can help other women be less critical of their bodies, too. Our bodies endure and are capable of so much. They hold so much power and strength. We should own the power of our bodies. We should be grateful for them. After this experience, I know I will be.

https://www.today.com/life/donna-farizan-farewell-letter-jenna-and-friends-rcna228778

Dear Donna,

The time has come to start my next chapter. The unknown can be scary, but it’s also exhilarating, so let’s embrace it. Since I started college and had my heart set on television internships—I didn’t know where the road would lead, but I knew to follow my curiosity and spark. I created a path that taught me lessons –lessons that expanded my growth as a human being.

My determination and creativity to innovate in a fast-paced environment is a skill I should always practice. I paved the way for the show to try new mediums, learned to tell stories in my own style, and made new friends along the way.

Discomfort is usually a catalyst for growth. So, I shouldn’t be afraid to jump. because it’s only the part before I take the jump that I fear, but the bigger the leap, the bigger the shift in perspective and the more resilient I become. Everywhere I turn surrounding the perimeter of 30 Rock, I’m reminded of ways in which I’ve pushed myself outside of my comfort zone. And now it’s time to do that again. Because that’s how you grow, and I yearn to grow.

I shined my light on others through delivering surprises, recognizing those who were on the rise, and celebrating those making their mark on an industry. The joy I’ve felt from the people I’ve highlighted gave me the inspiration to visualize my dreams, believe hard work pays off, and maintain my unique energy.

The energy I give is the one I’ll get. Life should be fun, enjoy the journey, see where it can take you. No one expects me to have it all figured out, and neither should I. My authenticity is my superpower, and that can only come out organically if I learn to be vulnerable.

I thought I was open enough in life, but once I chose to become more so on the air with the stories I shared about the stage of life I’m in, that level of vulnerability just kept rising off the air. I learned that by owning my power and sharing my voice I built a community of connection, which, in turn, made me feel supported, too.

Gratitude is what keeps all of this going—the momentum to: innovate, bet on myself, go outside my comfort zone, spread joy, and add value to someone’s day. The world of TV and content can sometimes feel overwhelming because there is no roadmap, but I am so grateful to have gone to the school of Kathie Lee Gifford, the school of Hoda Kotb, and the school of Jenna Bush Hager….because now, it’s time for me, Donna Farizan, to create my own map. Remember, I believe dreams come true, I believe in romanticizing life and staying hopeful that the future I can’t yet see burns bright.

TODAY has been my home away from home because of the friendships I’ve made, the memories I’ll take, and the enthusiasm I’ve received from the constant of this show: the remarkable viewers—those who tune in everyday and motivate all of us to own our power. The biggest joy of this chapter in my life has been the viewers I’ve met –or have yet to meet--along the way.

Success is a team sport, and this is the team I’ve built. So I’ll go-- take these lessons with me, spread my wings, and remind myself that I can always fly back to say hello.

This road will be fulfilling because I get to share in it with you, our viewers. I sincerely thank you for growing up with me. I hope you’ll follow along on my socials as I continue to bring both light and depth, and entertain with value; so please join me on my journey, and I’ll be a part of yours.

Love,
Donna